How to say NO

We all have demands on our time. Frequently these demands are made by our friends who want us to do no end of unpaid work for them.  It's up to you whether you comply or not, and obviously you will need to say "yes" where circumstances dictate.

However, what if you REALLY don't want to comply and say "no"?  It's all right to say "no", but usually very difficult.  Here are some possible techniques you can use to avoid saying "yes".

Do not say "yes" immediately.  It's often a lot easier to say "no" tomorrow, while saying "let me think about it" today.  This way you'll have had a chance to really consider the ramifications of what's involved, and it reduces the impact of an immediate "no".  A lot of women who are proposed to use this technique.  It also makes it a hell of a lot easier to say "no".

Suggest that the requested favour is not within your ability or area of expertise.  "How could I possibly do X? I have never done that sort of thing before".

Suggest that someone else might be far better at what you've been asked to do than you.

Say that the requested activities are "not something you do".

Set a constraint on your being available.  You might suggest that you can only help on a Wednesday afternoon between 1 and 3, it's the only time you've got.  Of course you might know exactly when the least convenient time for the requester is, and suggest then.

Only half say "yes".  The request might involve a few things.  Suggest maybe you can do one of them only.  The requester may then try to get someone who can do the entire task, and if not, you're only committing to part of the task.

Make it clear there are general constraints on what you are able to do.  This might mean if a friend is in need of emotional support, make it clear to them that you're not their mother and can do certain things, but not others.

Be honest with the requester.  You might be able to do the task, but given your limited time, you would not be able to do a good job.  Say as much.

Have a look at what is going on in your life and if the request doesn't fit in, you must not be afraid of saying "no".  One concept is that of saying "no" to the task, but "yes" to the person.  Something along the lines of "I really believe in the cause you are championing ("yes" to the person) but I simply won't be able to do X ("no" to the task).

It's perfectly all right to say "no".  In fact it is often necessary for your own health and well-being.

Good luck!